Being the wife of a military man is hard. The coming, the going, the uncertainty, the constantly changing timeline, and the lack of togetherness create a stressful life. That’s the truth.
On the other hand, we have a choice. We can chose to face the uncertainty with a smile on our face and a brave heart, or we can allow ourselves to crumble. We can maintain a good attitude and realize that the difficulties aren’t personal, or we can allow ourselves to slip into anger, sadness, and take everything to heart. Those are our choices.
Even the middle ground isn’t so good. Do we really want to waiver between sadness and happiness? Do we really want to spend 50% of our days being angry and lashing out against others because we are unhappy at home? That’s no way to live, either.
If we only get one shot at life, then we need to make the decision to spend our days happy.
At some point, my husband will exit the military and I will have all the quality time I desire. In those glorious days of finally being together more then 30% of the year, I don’t want to look back at the previous 12 years of our marriage and realize that I spent those 12 years miserable and angry.
There comes a time when we’ve had enough sadness and fist-shaking at the military; we’ve spent enough nights having a cry or two into a glass of wine; we begin to recognize that drama is a direct result of unhappiness at home and with the military; and we recognize that we need to get ourselves together … for good.
We military spouses need to develop thick skins and brave hearts. We need to find ways to LIVE, even in adverse circumstances. We need to cultivate an indomitable spirit in ourselves, and we need to show others the way. We need to make the choice to be happy and to not allow adversity to get us down.
If we want to live a happy life, we cannot fall to pieces each time the military issues our husbands a new order or a change to current orders. If we want to be happy, we cannot spend long deployments in a state of constant loneliness and anger, swaying from one drama to the next. If we want to be happy, we cannot lash out at those around us because misery loves company. No, we must be above those things.
I am working on my indomitable spirit. I want to maintain a smile on my face and a brave heart, despite moving through the difficult circumstances. I want to easily withstand adversity, even when I am lonely at home and missing my husband. I want to find ways to live my best life, no matter what the military throws our way. I want to have so much self confidence and self worth that adversity rolls off my shoulder. By being my best self, by being happy, and by living my best life, my husband’s life will be enriched; we are a team, we achieve success together, and we benefit from each other.
This is a work-in-progress. It’s not possible to be perfect all the time. I’m human — with that comes imperfection 🙂 But, I can do my best, and I will do my best.
This life isn’t easy, but being married to my husband makes it worth it. So, while I’m living this lifestyle, I need to make the best of it by cultivating my indomitable spirit.
Invictus by W.E. Henley