As I’ve mentioned previously, my husband and I are debating our future. This is the ideal time to either get out and start anew, or to stay in and make this our life. My husband and I both like our Navy lives, he loves his job, and I love that he loves his job. However, the constantly looming deployments are demoralizing, and there is NO escaping them. We will not have another shore tour for at least another 3 – 4 deployments, and at least 2 of those deployments will last 9 – 10 months.
He has made it clear to me that if he were to get out, it would be for me — so that we would never have to be forcibly separated for 9 – 10 months.
However … what is the alternative? That he become a commercial pilot? Then he will be gone more frequently and I will not have a support network. We will also take a big pay hit for a few years, but in the long run he will make a lot more money. Is that better? I don’t know.
I am trying to keep my mind open to all the alternatives. In the end, if we stay in, we will stay in knowing that we made the best choice for us. We will know that we continued with open eyes, rather then just following the easiest path.
We are very happy now, but one of the main problems with staying in is that job satisfaction changes every time we move and every time my husband gets a new boss. Yes, this is similar to the civilian world, except that we may move as frequently as every 2 years, and his boss may change 2 times in every duty station. And, when we move, we may move overseas, or my husband and I may be forced to live apart, sometimes with no communication, for as long as a year.
It’s a lot to think about. I am glad that I have such a broad group of military wife friends. No matter their husband’s rank or branch of service, we face the same challenges and questions. We have the same sleepless nights and heated discussions.
Getting out or staying in IS the biggest, most important decision of our married lives.