A very sincere thank you and a request to appreciate your spouse today.

I just spent the last few minutes tabbing through the list of recent search terms that brought readers to my blog.

I just want to take a moment to thank all the civilians who search things like “what to say to a friend whose husband is deploying” or “how to support my military wife coworker”. You have no idea how much it means to military spouses that you are taking a moment to research how to support us. I’ve received so many hits from those types of searches recently that it brought very happy tears to my eyes.

Today is my 1st wedding anniversary, and I haven’t yet heard from my husband … and I may not hear from him at all today. We are stationed overseas, so I doubt that I’ll receive flowers or anything special in the mail. I definitely won’t receive a card today. Hopefully I’ll receive a phone call? Or an email? I know that he is remembering our anniversary and thinking of me, but that doesn’t mean that he’ll have an opportunity to tell me that he loves me today.

None of those things really matter because all I truly want is for my husband to come home to me in a few months … but it’s deeply difficult to be alone during these milestones. I have exactly 4 friends here on base (I can’t begin to tell you how difficult the social scene is here). I don’t have any family on this side of the planet, and while most new brides wouldn’t want to spend their first wedding anniversary with their family, it would be significant improvement over spending it alone and fretting about my husband’s safety.

Here ends my rant: Hug and kiss your spouse or significant other today and tell them how much you love and appreciate them. I can’t wait to do that with my husband, whenever this darn deployment is over and the Navy finally gives him back to me for a few months.

If you’re interested in reading about my deployment support ramblings, here are a few links to my posts:
How to support a military spouse through a deployment.
On military wives supporting military wives.
How to support a military spouse when their other half is deployed.
I write about how I deal with deployment in each and every post. If you’re interested in that perspective, page through my posts until you see a post title that you are interested in – I try to title my posts with very uncreative/honest titles that are related to what I’m writing about.

Last thought – I always wonder if the people at the top of the military ever Google or research what the average military family’s life is like. When I pose this question to friends, most of us salty military wives bitterly comment things like “oh they’ve forgotten about us little people” and “they don’t care. They’re not deploying anymore!” With all this talk of military pay and promotion freezes, I have to wonder how our leaders are making these choices? Congress and friends wouldn’t dream of actually serving their country, so I “get” that they don’t have a clue about anything related to us “little people”. But, do our military leaders remember these deployments and days of endless loneliness? Are they too far removed to care? Or, are they sincerely trying to make the best decisions possible? If you’re out there, Admiral or General sir or ma’am, please thank your spouse today and remember how hard it is to be here sometimes. It’s worth it, but it’s still very, very hard.


  1. Hey, I don’t know you, but my bf is also a Navy pilot currently in the middle of carrier quals. Man, it sucks! (#1 under the list of things Top Gun didn’t tell me: they go out to sea for months and months BEFORE DEPLOYMENT EVEN STARTS!) Lots of love to you, and happy anniversary. I hope you get to hear from him soon!

    1. Thanks so much!! Best wishes to you all! I hope his CQ goes well and that it’s over soon do that you two can enjoy some pre-deployment quality time 🙂 🙂

  2. Hi! I just started following your blog and reading this really hit home for me! My dad is aboit to retire from the AF after 28 years of service and we can count on one hand the number of anniversaries he and my mom have spent together. My husband is going active duty Navy in October and we won’t be able to join him for 9-12 months. The Navy sure is breaking us in early…all major holidays, my birthday, mothers day, fathers day, our anniversary and our daughter’s birthday will fall in those 9 months. I guess it’s just easier to rip off that bandaid so to speak and get used to it. I do hope you have a wonderful anniversary and know that you will be able to celebrate when he gets home! ~Kate

  3. This made me teary. I can’t begin to empathize, but know that I think of you and Mike often, and am sending lots of e-love. 🙂

    1. Thank you, Rema 🙂 I feel the love!! Lets talk soon about when you guys might want to visit us? We are starting to have a clear picture of when that could all happen.

  4. Andrew spent our first anniversary staring at the coast of Washington he told me after he got home. 😦

    I never thought of it before, but it would be interesting to find out if the higher-ups do think about us “little people” ever…you make a good point there.

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